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[Master J]

As Filipino parents I am sure we have our own ways of disciplining ang creating awareness about these issues among our kids especially the girls. But my question is, do we limit (that can affect their future indepence in work and society) them or we just give them freedom to explore the world yet expose them to these dangers? Ang hirap talaga maging parents. Now mas naintindihan ko na lalo mga parents ko. 

BangkokPost.com
Posted by Sanitsuda Ekachai , Reader : 23019 , 02:19:49

As a mother, the news that grabbed my attention over the weekend had nothing to do with the politics that are near the boiling point. It was about a boy gang rape.

A nightmare for any parent, the incident involved three boys, aged 8, 11 and 12, raping a 7-year-old girl neighbour. The boys said they just wanted to copy the porn they saw in the Internet shop. They are now staying at a remand home where social workers have yet to decide whether they should be returned to their poor parents, who cannot provide them proper care. The news focus is on the boys as an indicator of the moral decline in society. Nothing has been said about the need to help the girl overcome the rape trauma.

This horrifying news came on the heels of a Thammasat University sex scandal involving a male lecturer who offered a girl student better grades in exchange for oral sex.

To terrify us parents further, the newspapers told us the next day that a 4-year-old girl had been raped by her step-uncle. These horrifying news reports have triggered several demands from so-called experts. Among them: Get tough with Internet shops. Get rid of porn. Tell parents to shape up.

This is blaming the victims.

Where can poor kids in Bangkok go when the government fails to give them recreational facilities? How can poor parents keep close watch on their children when they have to struggle to make ends meet? How can the boys know rape is a heinous crime when the hottest soap opera on TV now says rape is okay, when the law allows rapists to get away with murder by marrying the victims, and when men in authority rarely get punished for their sexual crimes? What to do to protect our girls?

The rest of the article can be read here along with comments from readers.

Source: The Bangkok Post

[Van Helsing]

pre, teach our daughters how to be good psychologists so they can evaluate characters of every person they have to deal with each day... 

we should NOT tell them not to trust the world but rather make them more aware of what's going on around them (good or bad) then let them learn how to properly deal with every situation...

i also think this is a matter of how well we, as a parent, influences our children's personalities as they grow up

my thoughts

[Master J]

You got a very good point pre. I remember the story of Richard Branson (Virgin Records owner CEO) where their mother would take them to the park and observe other peoples behaviour. Their mom ask question and they try to understand. Aside from not having to spend so much in watching a movie or going to a mall, they have learned so much about human nature that he himself is using now to run his empire.

As for their personalities, yes it's a huge challenge because of so many factors that is influencing them  but thank's for pointing it pre, I'll add that to my arsenal as a dad.

[Franz]

I agree with both your opinions. I would like to share an e-mail clip about a son getting exposed to the world which changed his perspective of things. Exposing our kids (or soon to be kids for me) to the real world will make them more prepared of the challenges the world brings. The world is a crazy urban jungle, before we let our offspring wander through this wilderness, we must train them to be prepared cos we will never know what or who they will meet along the way. If we expose them to the world, they could adapt to the environment as well as the situation easily.

LOOKING AT LIFE VERY POSITIVELY

One day, the father of a very wealthy family took his son on a trip to the country with the express purpose of showing
him how poor people live.They spent a couple of days and nights on the farm of what would be considered a very poor family.

On their return from their trip, the father asked his son,
"How was the trip?"
"It was great, Dad."

"Did you see how poor people live?" the father asked.
"Oh yeah," said the son.

"So, tell me, what did you learn from the trip?" asked the father.

The son answered:
"I saw that we have one dog and they had four.

We have a pool that reaches to the middle of our garden and they have a creek that has no end.

We have imported lanterns in our garden and they have the stars at night.

Our patio reaches to the front yard and they have the whole horizon.

We have a small piece of land to live on and they have fields that go beyond our sight.

We have servants who serve us, but they serve others.

We buy our food, but they grow theirs.

We have walls around our property to protect us, they have friends to protect them."

The boy's father was speechless.

Then his son added, "Thanks Dad for showing me how poor we are."

[Madam H]

This is something that reminds me whenever we have professional development activities at work, and we discuss about how "best" we can help our students learn what they ought to learn.

In many educational institutions who want to be better at what they do, the buzz statement is that, "Students never learn what teachers teach."

It is indeed a challenge to know exactly what to teach our kids, so they actually learn what they need when they go out into the real world. Somebody I know said this to me one time, that what people will remember of you most, is how you made them feel!

And perhaps, that is also very true with children. When we make a child feel happy, good, positive, confident and comfortable about who she/he is, then it's a start. Coz when that happens, then the child would learn to trust her/his own instincts about the world, and when something he/she experiences doesn't feel right, good, comfortable, that would send him/her a warning sign that there must be something wrong with such an experience. Then, hopefully, the child would also have the strength to resist, find help, or to run away.

I believe we should present the world the way it is to our children. But of course, we have to use our own discretion as to the "how" and to what extent. When our children see something on tv that involves fights or guns, we tell them that is not something good people do because it hurts others. But we also tell them that sometimes, there are people who do them, and such acts are "bad". It's important they learn that there are "good" and "bad" acts in real life, but not to label people "bad" or "good". That way, they will also be less critical of themselves as people, but critical of their actions.

Just a few thoughts...