Sepulturero
SP Elite Member (1000+ Posts)
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Posts: 2484
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"I don't make mistakes, I bury them"
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« Reply #500 on: August 28, 2008, 06:58:23 AM » |
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NANAY: Dok, ano po ang dapat kong gawin sa anak kong si Jojo? Masyado po yatang maliit ang ari niya. DOK: Simple lang po ‘yan. Pakainin n’yo ng hotcake tuwing umaga. (KINABUKASAN…) JOJO: Wow, ang daming hotcakes! Akin po lahat ito, ‘Nay? NANAY: Oy! Dalawa lang sa ‘yo! Sa tatay mo ‘yung walo!   |
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"You shouldn't be afraid, you should be terrified"
"I am going, to bury, you, Alive!"
"Rest in peace"
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Sepulturero
SP Elite Member (1000+ Posts)
Karma: +172/-2
Favorite drink
Gender:
Posts: 2484
Referrals: 1
"I don't make mistakes, I bury them"
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« Reply #501 on: August 28, 2008, 07:01:12 AM » |
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DOK: Misis, tanong ko lang… nasasarapan ka ba ‘pag nagse-sex kayo ng mister mo? MISIS: Bakit n’yo po naitanong ‘yan Dok? DOK: Napansin ko kasi, maliit ‘yung sa Mister mo eh! MISIS: Ok lang ‘yung, dok. andyan nman si pare sa kanya na lang ako bumabawi! |
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"You shouldn't be afraid, you should be terrified"
"I am going, to bury, you, Alive!"
"Rest in peace"
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Sepulturero
SP Elite Member (1000+ Posts)
Karma: +172/-2
Favorite drink
Gender:
Posts: 2484
Referrals: 1
"I don't make mistakes, I bury them"
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« Reply #502 on: August 28, 2008, 07:03:49 AM » |
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ANAK: Yaya, tanghali na! Bakit ayaw pang lumabas nina mommy at daddy sa kuwarto? YAYA: Ewan ko! Kagabi, humingi sila ng petroleum jelly, pero ang naibigay ko, Mighty Bond! |
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"You shouldn't be afraid, you should be terrified"
"I am going, to bury, you, Alive!"
"Rest in peace"
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swit nobimber
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I don't know who I am!
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« Reply #503 on: August 28, 2008, 07:06:50 AM » |
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YEAR 2008.... Prosti 1: sa sobrang hirap ng panahon ngaun,kahit 200 payag na ko. Prosti 2: ako kahit 100..payag na! Prosti 3: ako nga blowjob for free! may makain lng!!!  |
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"The most wasted day is that in which we have not laughed."
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swit nobimber
Sr. Member
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I don't know who I am!
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« Reply #504 on: August 29, 2008, 07:23:59 AM » |
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Honeymoon: BRIDE: Kinakabahan ako. Baka di ko makaya.. Parang natatakot ako. GROOM- Kaya mo ito. Diba dati may alaga kang ahas? BRIDE- Oo nga, pero takot talaga ako sa UOD!! ------------------------------------------------- |
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"The most wasted day is that in which we have not laughed."
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swit nobimber
Sr. Member
Karma: +72/-5
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I don't know who I am!
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« Reply #505 on: August 29, 2008, 07:33:52 AM » |
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Mahiwagang Loro Malaki ang problema ni Pedro. Ga-higante ang kanyang...kuwan... 25 inches. Dahil dito, ayaw siyang pakasalan ni Maria. Naisip niyang humingi ng tulong kay Manang Belen, ang arbolaryo sa kanilang lugar. "Naku Pedro", wika ni Manang Belen, "iisa lang ang remedyo sa problema mo. Kailangan hanapin mo ang mahiwagang loro sa tuktok ng bundok at hilingin mo na pakasalan ka niya. Tuwing tatanggihan ka ng loro, liliit ng 5 inches ang kuwan mo." Umakyat si Pedro sa bundok. Nang narating niya ang tuktok, nakita niya ang mahiwagang loro. "Mahiwagang loro, pakasalan mo ako", halos binulong lang ni Pedro sa kaba. "Ayoko!", sagot ng loro. Pag silip ni Pedro, 20 inches na lang siya! "Mahiwagang loro, pakasalan mo ako", mas malakas niyang binigkas. "Ayoko!", sagot ng loro. Pag silip ni Pedro, 15 inches na lang siya! Isa na lang para matuwa na si Maria. "Mahiwagang loro, pakasalan mo ako", halos napasigaw siya sa galak. "Ang kulit mo naman!" sumbat ng loro, "Sinabing Ayoko! Ayoko! Ayoko!" Wahahahaha! Wala na!!!! Kawawang Pedro!!!  |
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"The most wasted day is that in which we have not laughed."
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Sepulturero
SP Elite Member (1000+ Posts)
Karma: +172/-2
Favorite drink
Gender:
Posts: 2484
Referrals: 1
"I don't make mistakes, I bury them"
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« Reply #506 on: September 01, 2008, 12:34:55 AM » |
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Honeymoon: BRIDE: Kinakabahan ako. Baka di ko makaya.. Parang natatakot ako. GROOM- Kaya mo ito. Diba dati may alaga kang ahas? BRIDE- Oo nga, pero takot talaga ako sa UOD!! ------------------------------------------------- Aha ha ha uod daw! +karma sa iyo SwitNob |
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Logged
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"You shouldn't be afraid, you should be terrified"
"I am going, to bury, you, Alive!"
"Rest in peace"
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Sepulturero
SP Elite Member (1000+ Posts)
Karma: +172/-2
Favorite drink
Gender:
Posts: 2484
Referrals: 1
"I don't make mistakes, I bury them"
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« Reply #507 on: September 01, 2008, 01:02:30 AM » |
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KULASISI: Hon, ano ang best moment sa buhay mo? LALAKI: Ang best moment sa buhay ko… kapag ibinubuka mo ang legs mo. Eh ikaw, ano ang best moment mo? KULASISI: Kapag ibinubuka mo ang wallet mo! |
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Logged
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"You shouldn't be afraid, you should be terrified"
"I am going, to bury, you, Alive!"
"Rest in peace"
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sIsA
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« Reply #508 on: September 03, 2008, 05:45:21 PM » |
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Three women: one engaged, one married, and one a mistress, are chatting about their relationships and decide to amaze their men....that night all three will wear a sexy leather bodice, stilettos and mask over their eyes ... After a few days they meet again........ The engaged girlfriend said: 'the other night, when my boyfriend came back home, he found me in the leather bodice, 4' stilettos and mask. He said, you are the woman of my life, I love you...then we made love all night long. The mistress stated: 'Oh Yes! The other night we met in the office. I was wearing the leather bodice, mega stilettos, mask over my eyes and a raincoat. When I opened the raincoat, he didn' say a word. We just had wild sex all night. The married one then said: 'The other night I sent the kids to stay at my mothers for the night; I got myself ready, leather bodice, and super stilettos and mask over my eyes. My husband came in from work, grabbed the TV controller and a beer, and said, 'Hey Batman, what's for dinner?' |
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cRiSpIn?! BaSiLiO?! wEr nA yOu? hiR nA mE.. wAg nA yOu rEpLy, WaLa nA mE LoAd... |
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swit nobimber
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« Reply #509 on: September 04, 2008, 02:11:43 AM » |
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may isang bading na namimili sa isang palengke nang makita nya ung stall ng mga gulay. may nakita syang sariwa at malaking talong at agad nya itong kinuha at binigay sa tindera. Bading: "Acheng magkano ito?" Tindera: "Ay! P 5.00 lang para sayo suki." Bading: "Sige kukunin ko na!" nang iabot sa tindera, biglang nagtanong ang ale sa bading... Tindera: "Ma'am, hihiwain na po ba natin (Slice)?" Bading: "GAGANG TOH! ANO AKALA MO SA TUMBONG KO ALKANSYA?!" |
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"The most wasted day is that in which we have not laughed."
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Sepulturero
SP Elite Member (1000+ Posts)
Karma: +172/-2
Favorite drink
Gender:
Posts: 2484
Referrals: 1
"I don't make mistakes, I bury them"
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« Reply #510 on: September 04, 2008, 03:37:55 AM » |
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Sexy na girl nagkukumpisal: PARI: iha, ano ang iyong ikukumpisal? SE - XY: father, pag nakakarinig po ako ng lalaking nagmumura di ko mapigilan sarili ko na yayain siya mags - ex! PARI: 'tang ina! Di nga? |
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Logged
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"You shouldn't be afraid, you should be terrified"
"I am going, to bury, you, Alive!"
"Rest in peace"
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Sepulturero
SP Elite Member (1000+ Posts)
Karma: +172/-2
Favorite drink
Gender:
Posts: 2484
Referrals: 1
"I don't make mistakes, I bury them"
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« Reply #511 on: September 04, 2008, 04:05:46 AM » |
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BABY! GF: magaling! At sino tong baby na nagtext sayo? BF: ah eh kumpare ko yun! Lalake yun! Baby lang palayaw. GF: oh eto replyan mo. Hindi daw kayo tuloy at may mens daw ang tarantado! |
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Logged
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"You shouldn't be afraid, you should be terrified"
"I am going, to bury, you, Alive!"
"Rest in peace"
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Sepulturero
SP Elite Member (1000+ Posts)
Karma: +172/-2
Favorite drink
Gender:
Posts: 2484
Referrals: 1
"I don't make mistakes, I bury them"
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« Reply #512 on: September 04, 2008, 04:17:36 AM » |
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Nagpalit na ng Kasarian Magsyota naglalakad sa park: GF: Hon, ihi muna ako BF: Dyan ka nalang sa damuhan... Habang umiihi, kinapkap ni BF ang legs ni GF nang may mahawakan syang mahaba sa gitna nito... BF: Anak ng?! Bading ka ba o nagpalit na ng kasarian?? GF: Sira! Nagpalit lang ako ng desisyon. Tumatae na ako. |
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Logged
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"You shouldn't be afraid, you should be terrified"
"I am going, to bury, you, Alive!"
"Rest in peace"
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Sepulturero
SP Elite Member (1000+ Posts)
Karma: +172/-2
Favorite drink
Gender:
Posts: 2484
Referrals: 1
"I don't make mistakes, I bury them"
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« Reply #513 on: September 04, 2008, 05:23:56 AM » |
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Pilosopong Sales Lady SALESGIRL: sir, you can't smoke here. CUSTOMER: but I bought these cigars from your store. SALESGIRL: we also sell con-doms, but it doesn't mean you can f*ck here. |
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Logged
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"You shouldn't be afraid, you should be terrified"
"I am going, to bury, you, Alive!"
"Rest in peace"
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Sepulturero
SP Elite Member (1000+ Posts)
Karma: +172/-2
Favorite drink
Gender:
Posts: 2484
Referrals: 1
"I don't make mistakes, I bury them"
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« Reply #514 on: September 04, 2008, 05:28:06 AM » |
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Nakatipid Mr: kung marunong ka lang sanang maglaba, eh di nka2tipid sana tayo ng 2000 sa maid. Mrs: hmmph!! kung ikaw mgling sa kama, eh di nakatipid tayo ng 7500 sa driver! |
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Logged
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"You shouldn't be afraid, you should be terrified"
"I am going, to bury, you, Alive!"
"Rest in peace"
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Sepulturero
SP Elite Member (1000+ Posts)
Karma: +172/-2
Favorite drink
Gender:
Posts: 2484
Referrals: 1
"I don't make mistakes, I bury them"
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« Reply #515 on: September 04, 2008, 08:20:42 AM » |
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Boy Bastos - What is Politics? Boy Bastos goes to his dad and asks, "What is Politics?" Dad says, "Well son, let me try to explain it this way: #1. I'm the head of the family, so call me GMA. #2. Your mother is the administrator of the money, so we call her the Government. #3. We're here to take care of your needs, so we'll call you the People. #4. Your Yaya Inday, we'll consider her the Working Class. #5. And your baby brother Junior, we'll call him the Future. "Now, think about that and see if it makes sense." So, the little boy goes off to bed thinking about what Dad has said. Later that night, he hears his baby brother crying, so he gets up to check on him. He finds that the baby has totally crapped in his diaper. So, the little boy goes to his parent's room and finds his mother sound asleep. Not wanting to wake her, he goes to his yaya's room. Finding the door locked, he looks in the peephole and finds his father in bed with Inday. He gives up and goes back to bed. The next morning, the little boy says to his father, "Dad, I think I understand the concept of politics now." The father says, "Magaling, Boy Bastos! Tell me in your own words what you think politics is all about." The little boy replies, "Si GMA yinayari pala talaga ang Working Class, tapos yung Government walang ginawa kundi tulog lang nang tulog. The People hindi pinapansin and the Future... nakalubog na sa ebak!" |
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Logged
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"You shouldn't be afraid, you should be terrified"
"I am going, to bury, you, Alive!"
"Rest in peace"
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Sepulturero
SP Elite Member (1000+ Posts)
Karma: +172/-2
Favorite drink
Gender:
Posts: 2484
Referrals: 1
"I don't make mistakes, I bury them"
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« Reply #516 on: September 04, 2008, 08:52:09 AM » |
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Erap Joke! Loi: "Love, may mga friends ako na nagpa-enhance ng B*&^%. Okey lang ba sayo kung magpadagdag din ako? Erap: Nagisip ng malalim sabay sagot ng "Ewan ko, parang hindi yata bagay sa'yo ang tatlo ang suso!!!" |
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Logged
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"You shouldn't be afraid, you should be terrified"
"I am going, to bury, you, Alive!"
"Rest in peace"
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Sepulturero
SP Elite Member (1000+ Posts)
Karma: +172/-2
Favorite drink
Gender:
Posts: 2484
Referrals: 1
"I don't make mistakes, I bury them"
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« Reply #517 on: September 04, 2008, 09:07:54 AM » |
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Lindol! Guro: Ano dapat gawin pag may lindol? Boy: Buksan po ang ilaw! Guro: Bakit? Boy: Kasi po sa bahay kubo namin, madalas lumindol kapag gabi, pero pag-switch ko po ng ilaw, biglang tumitigil!!! |
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Logged
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"You shouldn't be afraid, you should be terrified"
"I am going, to bury, you, Alive!"
"Rest in peace"
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Sepulturero
SP Elite Member (1000+ Posts)
Karma: +172/-2
Favorite drink
Gender:
Posts: 2484
Referrals: 1
"I don't make mistakes, I bury them"
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« Reply #518 on: September 10, 2008, 04:33:11 AM » |
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TRIVIA: The Philippines has 40,000 prostitutes. They earn P1,000 per day. Thus, 40,000 X P1,000 = P40M in one day P40M X 365 days = P14.6B in one year Hindi kaya p*kp#k ang sagot sa krisis ng ating bansa? |
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"You shouldn't be afraid, you should be terrified"
"I am going, to bury, you, Alive!"
"Rest in peace"
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Woz
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SPAS
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« Reply #519 on: September 10, 2008, 04:42:58 AM » |
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TRIVIA: The Philippines has 40,000 prostitutes. They earn P1,000 per day. Thus, 40,000 X P1,000 = P40M in one day P40M X 365 days = P14.6B in one year Hindi kaya p*kp#k ang sagot sa krisis ng ating bansa? hahaha...basta di lang mahilig ang mga politiko sa mga p*kp*k |
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Filipinos in Thailand
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