Filipinos in Thailand - It’s a Boy!

It’s a Boy!

Tuesday, 07 April 2009

Understanding Your Son’s Development from Birth to Eighteen

If you are a parent and you are worried sick about your sons being exposed (or even addicted) to violent video games, have observed and (again) worried sick about your boy’s propensity for rough play with his friends, have sons struggling with organization, completing homework and/or paying attention in class, read on and you might find some answers in this article.

On March 18th, Michael Thompson, Ph.D., a well known Psychologist in the US, did a workshop at the International School of Bangkok (ISB). He shared a lot of information to educators who attended the workshop about current research related to the nature of boys in general. A colleague of mine has kindly passed these points on at our school, to shed some light on some issues that concern boys in general.

• Boys and girls are hard wired differently. The need and desire for rough, physical play is a normal part of development in boys, starting with 2 to 3 year olds and continuing through adolescence. In some schools, recess time is being reduced because too much ‘down time’ contributes to aggressive behavior. Thompson believes the opposite should happen.

• Girls are, on average, outperforming boys in all subjects at all grades in the industrialized world.

• There is an enduring problem of “fatherlessness” and lack of male role models in America as well as other parts of the industrialized world.

• Fewer and fewer male teachers are entering the education profession at the middle school level, when young boys in particular need older male influences. Extended family members within close proximity to young boys, especially uncles, grandfathers, etc... live farther apart than ever before.

• Some experimental schools are taking boys on extended trips, outside the classroom, to stimulate learning and generate interest in real life experiences.

What then, are the implications of these points in our community, here in Thailand?

   Every family unit has its own set of needs and priorities in life. While economics in our country does not give all an equal opportunity to earn well (or even just enough) for our families, we also have to think about the emotional and care needs of those we leave behind. This is not to say that OFW’s do not think about their children when they leave home. In fact it is for the very reason of love for family, that many Filipinos choose to go and work abroad. However, there will always be trade-offs. It is then up to the individual to choose and decide which is best for his/her family, where “presence” of a mother and father figure is concerned. Perhaps, while the father is away, families will just have to make sure that sons still have access to uncles, grandfathers or older brothers, so they have male role models to look up to, since studies point out that this is important to a young boy’s development.

   And as to the issue on violence learned from computer games and videos, there seems to be a call for balancing such with real-life outdoor activities. This way, young boys do not just spend their entire free time in front of computers, but they also get opportunities to establish real-world connections and experience real life beyond the four walls of the classroom, or the home, for that matter.

   In Thailand, going outdoors is not a big inconvenience, nor is it as pricey as back home. Here, there are parks everywhere, even in the middle of the busy business and shopping districts of Silom and Sukhumvit. The beaches of Pattaya, Bang Saen, Rayong or Hua Hin are accessible by bus, and food and accommodation is affordable to the average Filipino worker with a small family. It is but a matter of planning and intention on our part as parents, to be able to give such opportunities to our kids here in Thailand.

   Overall, Filipino parents here in Thailand do not have as much to worry about as our counterparts in the States. Because the U.S. has the highest rate of murder and rape in the industrialized world, the figures could cause fear to strike the hearts of parents of the violence that could come from our young boys today.

   Crimes such as what happened in Columbine High School in Denver in the U.S. on April 20, 1999 is a world away from what happens in our community here in this part of the world. However, there are still some concerns, and as parents, nothing is ever so trivial as not to discuss about, since we all want the best for our children.

   It is therefore safe to say, that it never hurts to know what is out there in terms of information. It always helps to read and get informed about the latest trends, issues and topics that concern us, our lives and our children. By being knowledgeable, we lessen our fears, and according to Thompson, “a frightened parent is an ineffective parent”. And so, if you hear, read or know more about this topic, please click here and share more so we may understand our young boys, how they develop and how we may be an instrument in molding them into better people for the future.